Ex-X-Mas

This break has been both overwhelming and productive, a surprising pair. I think I've worked a hundred hours, at least it seems, over break. eight of those hours being on christmas day. I finally realized what it's like to be an adult, working eight hour days, running around trying to get everything done. where does the time go?

Tomorrow, I work in the morning, eight to noon, and then the fam and I are going up north until Saturday. I'm not really excited to go up north but I am excited to have a few days off of working. Oh I just can't wait until the pay check.

So Christmas was yesterday and I wish the day had just a few more hours. After working 8-12 and 3-7, all I wanted to do was sleep but the entire family was over and of course, we had to open presents.

I got my dvd camcorder for christmas, which is pretty freakin sweet. I got a few gift cards, a bunch of doggie books, a coach purse from the g-ma, a few movies, some scrubs. It was overall a very nice day.

Although this break has been super busy, I still feel like I've had time to think and attempt to figure things out. I realized that the only ones you can totally rely on in life is family, pets included. To have expectations of others is not productive and usually results in disappointment. All humans have expectations because all humans have needs. I don't believe this is a negative outlook on life... I think it's realisitic and if we could all learn to live this way, life would be much simpler. I guess we just have to trust in ourselves that the right people will come along and the needs and expectations of each other fit together. Until that point, I'll always have my dogs, which are more than enough.

It's 10:04... and I'm going to bed.

Break

So Christmas break has been pretty good so far. I got grades today and they weren't as good as I expected but there's always next semester, right?

Yesterday, I went to work and did four different surgeries. A neuter + teeth removals, a spay repair, seven growth removals on a miracle dog, and a declaw. I love it! i get to work on the hospital side more this break and I'm so excited.

Being at home over break makes me so happy...especially to spend time with my puppy. He's so much older and so much more wiser. He's the best.

Life seems so much more simpler when at home. There's no friend or boy drama... just sleep, work, and family.

Well I have to work for the next four days straight. The christmas rush has begun and we have 23 cats coming in before Saturday. a bit overwhelming.

six more days until christmas.

Vacation

So i'm officially done with fall semester 07 and i'm officially one more semester closer to vet school. Although I didn't do as good this semester as I had hoped, I'm still confident and excited to start fresh. But for now, vacation calls my name.

I was driving home from East Lansing today, listening to some amazing tunes. At that same time, as gay as this sounds, the sun was setting and the perfect song was playing and life was peaceful. I felt like I actually had a purpose and although everything is complicated and difficult, God offers you an opportunity to see a small picture of what greatness is.

Then of course, I get stuck in major traffic and I get reminded that sometimes, life just sucks.

Tomorrow I get to do absolutely nothing except go to my aunts house for a party at 7. That means I'm sleeping in until noon with my puppy and watching tv in my pjs and not taking a shower until I necessarily have to. I'm going to find a real good book to read or some real good movies and spend my break relaxing.

I want to say merry christmas. its such a fun holiday, especially to spend with family.

Cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half"

have a fantastic week.

Exams

So tomorrow is day 1 of exams, which include both physics and biology. o joy. back to back. transcription...translation...glycolysis...

Oh the joy of biology.

So I'm really trying to be more positive in my life and try to think more in the present. I realized that trying to figure out every detail of my life today just increases stress and takes away from the joy and spontaneity of life. I hope that everyone notices the difference that I'm making. I'm going to try and make the biggest difference during Christmas break when I have time to be by myself, without stress controlling every emotion.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to leave the world a better place; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

Wake up

I dont want to spend my life jaded

waiting to wake up one day and find

that I let all these years go by....

Friends

I realized last night that friends aren't something you put on a "to do" list. You don't list your friends name and put a checkmark after each one when you do something good for them. A friendship is something that needs to work at everyday, similar to a relationship. If you can't do that, you need to decide whether you want a few great friends or a lot of okay friends.
Friendship isn't something that you take for granted. It isn't something you put off until you have nothing else to do. When the world is crashing down, true friends are the ones that are going to be there, no matter what.
Stress shouldn't affect a friendship. Not sleeping shouldn't affect a friendship. Boys shouldn't affect a friendship.
Friendship is simply the acceptance of one person, no matter what their faults. But the fact is, all people judge one another. All people are selfish and want only what's best for them in the end. But when that one friend is in need, can you put that selfishness aside? That's when it really matters.

Although I realized all this, I also realized that I need to start reevaluating the people that I call my friends. And I also need to start reevaluated the type of friend that I am. I think we all need to do that.
Without people, one's life means nothing because there's no one there to share it with.
But sometimes, you have to let friends go.

Simplicity

Stress brings a complexity to life that is completely unnecessary. I feel like the world is flying by without giving me a chance to pause and look at where I've been and where I'm going. But for life to be simple would mean that life would be boring. So what is the best combination? Simple but boring. Complicated but exciting.

As much as I put a wall up on the things in my life I can't control, I feel like I'm starting to realize that opening up to the opportunities ahead can only be beneficial. I realized that I don't have to sacrifice love for the perfect career. I realized that I don't have to sacrifice a husband to have an Irish Wolfhound. That may be a very weird sentence for some people but not me!

Life isn't always perfect but the imperfection make it a life worth living. Be open to the people who need you. Be willing to be the person that changes someone's life.

I get to go home on Thursday and see my puppies and my sisters! I'm so excited to see her pregnant belly!

This is the calm before the storm.
I hope all is well.

Stressed times a thousand

So I'm just a bit stressed. School is taking over my life and I just feel so anxious inside. I just found out I didn't do so hot on my biology exam which brought me down to a 3.0. I have one test tomorrow, two on tuesday, and a presentation on wednesday... and then finals. I just want this semester to be over with so I can go home, hang with my pups, and work at the vet. I'm finally understand what it's like to be a pre-veterinary student. This is my purpose in life however so I guess I have to do whatever necessary to achieve it.

I miss my puppies.

The more boys I meet....

So I have a biology verbal final tomorrow but I dont really give a crap.

You know what I really miss.... my dogs, mostly Kodi of course. He is my pride and joy and most people don't understand the unconditional love I feel for him. Of course, I adore my other dogs but there's a connection when you're raising a puppy that's different from the other dogs. I miss him :(.

What a cute doggie.

Now that i'm done obsessing over my dog, which I understand is a bit weird, I'll move on to life.

Today went by unbelievably fast. I'm not too sure why but it did. Now I'm attempting to study the Calvin Cycle and digestion. Not too exciting. I wish life was easy but it's not so I just gotta learn to deal with it.

Have a good one.

Beginning

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

I wish life was this simple... to have the ability to start fresh and to create an ending that we all imagine. This past week has been a strange but somewhat refreshing one. It started on Wednesday where I had to drink a total of 60 ounces of water before a pelvic ultrasound. During the ultrasound, the technician spent about 5 minutes on the left side, specifically my left ovary. But when she moved the right, she got quiet and started concentrating. She spent approximately a half hour on the right ovary. I started to worry... and then I became calm. And I asked myself the simple question "What if I am sick?" I feel so guilty for thinking the way that I do but part of me wonders what it would be like to be diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Everyone waits for the day where the end is in site to make a difference in life so part of me wants those words to come out of the doctors mouth so I can begin to live. Of course, I go back to the realization that my grandmother died of cancer and then I feel incredibly guilty.

Shortly after that however, my mother looked at me and asked me if I had ever been in love. I thought this was the weirdest question to ever come out of someone's mouth, especially my mothers. I understand that it's every mothers dream for their daughter to be married but the question is not a question that most people ask me. I thought about it and my answer was this "it doesn't matter". I don't know why. But it doesn't.

The next day, I got the flu and at that very moment, I realized how stupid I was for wondering what it would be like if I was sick because it really sucks.

People always wait for that moment that changes their life. Why do we have to wait to make our life better? I wish I knew how to accomplish this but I don't. So I'm just commenting about it. Sorry.

I wish I had someone that I could spill all my inner thoughts to. I have those friends that I can devulge the tip of the iceberg to but no one that I can fully trust to not put me in a mental institution. My friends tell me their problems, such as money, boys, grades, friends. I understand the importance of all those things but then I begin to think. All of those topics you can lay out in front of you or write down on a piece of paper in order to figure out. My problems are different and that's why I have a hard time talking about them. My problems are stuck in my mind, where writing them down would just make them worse. Do I continue on this circular path in my mind or do I scream them at the top of my lungs? How many people would I lose in my life if I revealed them all? More people than I can afford to lose?

Life has a beginning and an end. All people understand the beginning but few understand the end. Few people comprehend that the end could be tomorrow. I wish I was one of those people who lived life to the fullest but I always wait until tomorrow. My goal this week is to live life today and for today. If this works, I'll reveal my secret but until then, I have no idea how I'm going to do that.

My list for the rest of the year:

1. Be confident with finals.

2. Make a really good playlist

3. Snuggle with my puppy early in the morning

4. Have a really good talk with a really good friend

5. Figure out a new years resolution

6. Make a difference in one dogs life

7. Write in this blog

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."